So this year has been busy. Not only have i been working full time and probably taking on to much responsibility but also i have been studying on the side as well which has taken me out of ministry for another solid month. So to say that i am worn out is an understatement.
here is the thing. I thought i was doing it for God. I thought i was glorifying God through all my busy work. I thought that if i didn’t do it God couldn’t work in students lives. I was doing lots of ministry and programs and events that other people looked at and Said “WOW, your doing such a good job tom”. this is what i was feeding of. only now as i come to the end of the year am i starting to realize how little my “so much” has produced. maybe in Man’s eyes it is amazing and a good effort but for the Kingdom, i have my doubts. Sure God has used it, but i can see the cracks as well.
In trying to “do everything” for God, i am starting to realize that i have done very little.
I have been to busy to catch up and care for my leaders.
I have been to busy to spend that time listening and caring for students
I have been to busy to walk with new Christian and help them grow a solid foundation in Christ
I have been to busy to care for my own spiritual welbeing
I have neglected the core things of Christ to pursue to big things of Man. I have chased after my own need to achieve and do a good Job and have others approve, that i have made myself too busy to simply nurture souls.and this is the core of youth ministry.
you see, the nurture of souls is not something that can be measured with key performance indicators. It isn’t evident in any big and flashy way. It cant be seen with a big event and it’s not something i can easily get up in from of people an say “look at this, this is what i have done”. It’s life, it’s the simplicity of being alongside kids as they navigate life. Equipping them with spiritual tools to help them along the way and grow them closer to God. sometimes this work takes forever to bear fruit, to even be sure if you are making a difference.
As 2011 comes to a close i realize that i have committed the number one youth ministry sin. i have run events and programs at the expense of being with people and helping them know and grow in God.
How did i ever get here?
1) I thought i has the skills and knowledge to do good ministry (instead of relying always on the spirit working in me).
2) I thought that the more “I” did the more God could work through all these great things. but in fact, the less i do, the more i must turn myself and the people I’m working with towards God.